


Now A Certain Man Was Sick...

by Nolfalvrel



Series: In Pursuit of Alice [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: First Kiss, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, hidekane, hidezawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 01:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4000822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nolfalvrel/pseuds/Nolfalvrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seidou is sick and grumpy and starving to death. On his way to the grocery market he spots somebody familiar in a bad situation. Cue Superman theme as he jumps to the rescue. </p><p>Who exactly does Seidou remind Nagachika of anyhow?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now A Certain Man Was Sick...

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on doing a small series of oneshots revolving around Hide and his interactions with Team Amon, because lets face it, they definitely didn't get their spotlight in Root A. Plus, I kind of think Seidou and Hide really hit it off and deserve a little more love. I mean, not one drabble even?? C'mon, where's team HideZawa?? Anyway, I realize that the dates might not be entirely accurate to the timeline, cause Hide probably joined the CCG in the fall and this is set in early summer, but if Studio Pierrot can be flexible I should be allowed too!

Dreams don't come true so easily.

Well, yeah, I mean, I can barely handle reality.

So, in other words, all wishes are nearly unattainable.

Well, yeah, but not all nearly unattainable things are wishes.

\-- **NISIOISIN** , _ZAREGOTO: The Kubishime Romanticist_  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  


　　Seidou hated to be sick.

　　Of course, most people despised any kind of un-wellness-- not only was disgusting in its fevers, painful in in its aches and sniffles, it gave one the appearance of resurrection; made the face a drawn, ghoulish mask. And not the artsy kind worn by those freakish behemoths. No, people were ugly when they were sick. They were rotten to the core.

　　To rub salt in the wound, Seidou just had to be sick today of all days.  
　　  
　　Today was Akira’s birthday. It was not so much a point of contention because he was missing it and he wanted to attend, but because his missing it seemed deliberate; because the woman was his rival.

　　And his rival was never sick. And never late. And never even suggested the slightest defect to her person-- other than her intolerable personality. But he could see it in Houji’s eyes that he sometimes wished for a partner that infallible, indomitable, and it stung, a sharp tear across his heart, a hole in his stomach where everything dropped and curdled with envy and bitterness.

　　Today was Akira’s birthday, and she would be looking for him, and when he did not show, she would suspect that he was cowed by her. That he was childishly spiting her.  
　　  
　　Man, he hated to be sick.

　　He groaned, rolled over in his bed. The room was cold and dark, decorated with the telltale markings of a bachelor. Shirts here and there, a nice scattering of coffee cans and protein bar wrappers. It wasn’t yet morning, but the dawn was creeping upon the horizon like a lion stalking prey. He could see the slashes of early light filtering through his blinds, disturbing the cotton grogginess of his mind.

　　Even if he returned tomorrow, she’d associate the red rims with crying or self pity. And his gift to her would be an afterthought, a reluctant disguise of his absence.

　　He wondered if it would look different after two days.

　　But surely by that point he’d have run out of energy to mope and would want to work.

　　 _Screw it_ , he snarled internally, and fumbled for his cellphone. 

　　He fell back asleep moments after calling in, and after that, bright midday greeted him. He rolled out of bed with the elegance of a walrus from ice. A lazy _flop_ and _thunk_.

　　Seidou tore through his cupboards, cursing himself for being such a waste of space. He’d forgotten to buy groceries, so breakfast was cup noodles. He slouched pathetically under his blanket as he brushed his teeth in the kitchen sink, watching the kettle boil. Yes, it was horribly unnecessary to have taken his toothbrush to this sink, but he was sick and that meant every idea popping into his brain sounded utterly revolutionary and brilliant.

　　Seidou was a sprightly young man, but it was his eager honestness that often made him miserable. He knew this as he stuffed himself despite the taste of dishwater and sponge from his unelaborate breakfast. He resented himself because he resented other people, and he resented other people because he resented himself.

　　It was a a pathetic existence.

　　He wished that he could change, but the kind of transformation he wished for required a radicalism beyond him. Drastic measures of pain or iron will.

　　These were the thoughts that forced him to abandon his hovel in search of some way to distract himself. He could at least enjoy his Akiraless day off.

　　He pulled on ratty shoes, gray tracks that sagged like peeled elephant skin, a face mask for courtesy. And outside he welcomed the world.

　　Tokyo was busy. Well, Tokyo was always busy, just there were times that it was less or more busy. Right now crowds flowed moderately, wanderers streaming alongside the lunch rush hour. People that noticed him avoided him.

　　 _Yeah yeah, I know, I’m gross, be_ polite _about it at least_.

　　Really, he wanted to grab some _ichiban_ or _miso_ soup for supper later. Something instant and salty to quell the fuzz sporing from his ill lungs, carpeting his tongue and throat. He remembered distantly that Westerners used chicken noodles or some such from a can for sick days, and wondered if the local store would have a tasty brand to try.

　　He wasn’t in the best state of mind, so naturally, he got lost.

　　“What the fuck, _Hide_ , you piece of shit, get over here!”

　　Seidou froze at the shout, and finally lifted his gaze from his feet. He’d stumbled down a slit, a split between two brick walls, three turns too far for his regular shortcut.

　　“Neh, neh, Jurou-san, I’m just kidding, ha ha ha!”

　　Before him were four figures, jostling and bickering pleasantly. They were a personification of gluttony, two long bean poles with pustules, and the friendly part-timer, Nagachika Hideyoshi.

　　And in the air, permeating the fur of his mouth, the sharp tang of copper.

　　To kill monsters, one must be able to recognize them, unmask them with absolute certainty. Seidou pitied himself, but for all his griping, he was not inept. He knew his trade, and to kill monsters was inveterate to his soul. He smelt the damp, the cloy of blood, and he flung his mask aside.

　　“Nagachika-san!”

　　The blond turned, smile warping with confusion. Next to the others he was slight, freckles like a shake of salt and pepper on his cream skin. He surely looked supple, and savory to the three encircling Ghouls.  
　　  
　　Seidou reached him, breathless.  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san, what a surprise! Shouldn’t you be working?” Nagachika looked him over, frowning. “You don’t look so good...”  
　　  
　　“I’m fine, I’m just playing hooky,” Seidou lied and heaved, repulsed and embarrassed that he was gasping, hands on knees. The Ghouls drew around him warily. “What are you up to, Nagachika-san?”  
　　  
　　“Ah, I was just gonna’ go bowling with these guys,” Nagachika gestured at the trio, whose faces twisted with ungenuine grins. The broad one towered, a jiggling boulder as he extended a hand to Seidou.  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san, eh? Names Jurou. This is my boy Nori, and his sister, Ai-chan.” Jurou’s attempt at pleasantry was hideous, grin vividly wicked, and his eyes were pits that devoured gleefully. After a few moments of Seidou’s pointed staring he lowered his hand. The smell of blood came strongest from him.“Like Hide said, we’re hitting the lanes. You interested in joining?”  
　　  
　　Nori’s hair was deep violet, and might’ve been beautiful except for the grease sleeking it to his scalp. As if conscious of how unbecoming it was on her obvious twin, Ai wore her own oily strands in a plaited rope beneath a dark beanie. Her Monroe caught the light, the only dazzling feature of her gaunt face.  
　　  
　　Even if Seidou did not know them to be Ghouls they were sketchy. He snuck an incredulous look at Nagachika, who was now babbling about how eager he was to get something to eat, _finally_ , because morning classes just dragged on forever. The twins practically slavered at the mention of food. His fingers itched for _Douhi_ , and he cursed.  
　　  
　　This was not the kind of shit a mopey, stuffed up Investigator wanted to deal with on a sick day.  
　　  
　　Because he needed somewhere to rest his twitching fingers and because he needed to secure Nagachika like _now_ ( _you’d better fuck off you bastards he’s just a kid_ ), he clamped a hand to Nagachika’s shoulder, pulling him against him snugly. He summoned up his best Akira impersonation and gave his best Houji voice. “Actually, sorry, but no. Nagachika-san may have forgotten, but we have a prior engagement.”  
　　  
　　Nagachika protested. “Eh, I thought you said you were playing hooky?”  
　　  
　　 _Dammit, I thought you were supposed to be perceptive_. “Well, yes, I am,” he blustered, spotting the looks darting between the other three. “But remember, I, uh, needed to speak to you about something, that’s why.” The excuse sounded so weak, especially when his voice was so pleading.  
　　  
　　“Well then come and have some fun! You guys can always gossip later,” Ai’s voice was a feminine baritone, startling for her stature.  
　　  
　　“No, I hate bowling, I have no balance,” He tried, grip tightening on Nagachika’s sweater. It was mint green and soft, and beneath came the steady pulse Seidou was determined to keep beating. If Nagachika left with these people they would kill him. They would gouge him to bits in ravenous feast. “And this is something really important.”  
　　  
　　Nagachika examined him anxiously. “Maybe you should go home, Takizawa-san. I think you have a fever, your skin is boiling.”  
　　  
　　“Yeah man, you should listen to him,” Jurou drawled. He locked Seidou in his sights, and he seemed to stretch above them like some fantastic nightmare, lapdogs flanking his sides. If he did not do something, and quickly, they would either convince Nagachika to leave him and he would be forced to follow them, or they would have him accompany them. Both scenarios were unfavorable, because then they would expose his present weakness and they would tear them to pieces, claw them in sweet ribbons to soak in their belly. He didn’t enjoy the thought of becoming Jurou’s next love handle, but he couldn’t see how to escape without risking their attack. If they realized that _he_ had realized what they were...  
　　  
　　“Really, this is serious. I need to talk to you _now_ , Nagachika-kun. It can’t wait until later.”  
　　  
　　“Then get a move on man, we don’t got all day,” barked Niro, suspicion now lining his face.  
　　  
　　“Well, its actually really _private_ , so...”  
　　  
　　“That’s fine, we’ll wait over there,” Jurou excused coolly, pointing a long finger a few feet away, still well within hearing range for the Ghouls. He smiled thinly. “Hide, make it quick, alright?”  
　　  
　　They began to move, flawlessly in sync, and Seidou panicked.  
　　  
　　He and Nagachika weren’t far from the alley entrance.  
　　  
　　People could hear if he screamed, but who would honestly approach somebody screeching _‘Ghoul’_? They would be killed in an instant.  
　　  
　　They could make it in a mad dash... But Nagachika would have to understand, otherwise he would resist, and drag them down.  
　　  
　　He had to tell Nagachika, which would be reckless, or he had to say something so completely terrifying it would frighten away the Ghouls.  
　　  
　　How horrible did Houji say his bluffing was...?  
　　  
　　They definitely hadn’t been convinced earlier. They’d appraised him as a useless threat. An idiotic ill man.  
　　  
　　 _So much for being 2nd best graduate, Seidou. Think! Think! What can you do to make them leave?..._  
　　  
　　 _Well, what normally makes people uncomfortable...?_  
　　  
　　In principle, Ghouls were not so different from humans. They couldn’t be, otherwise they’d be glaringly obvious and their extinction would be less arduous for the CCG. Realistically, what would deter a human would deter a Ghoul. After all, they were not without personality, only humanity. If they observed something they found contemptible or awkward they could be persuaded to at least give him space.

　　Whipping Nagachika around to hold him by the shoulders, he gazed at him fiercely. Like paint flecks from the brush of a crazed artist, he could count the spots beneath Nagachika’s large doe eyes. He looked tired and million shades of troubled and confused, but also oddly....pre--  
　　  
　　 _You shouldn’t be thinking that with what you’re about to do, moron._  
　　  
　　“Nagachika-san! I can’t contain it any longer,” His words pitched, broke as if with puberty, as he shrieked. “I’ve been holding back since the day we met, but I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been sick with indecision all this time. I know it isn’t right, but I must live true, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks!”  
　　  
　　Nagachika patted his arm comfortingly, slightly disturbed. “Takizawa-san, you get really crazy when you’re sick, don’t you...?”  
　　  
　　“I am sick and crazy!” Seidou jolted the boy, shook him seriously. “Crazy with desire! Sick with love! And I can no longer stand it, so I need your help to stop it!” He was pretty sure he was ripping off a thousand different _shoujo_ anime and Korean soaps with his theatrics, nailing the melodrama with his intensity. He gulped, made a face, and then he pulled Nagachika even closer, flush against him, one arm about his waist and the other threaded with Nagachika’s stiff fingers. _Please don’t kill me Nagachika._  
　　  
　　Strangely he thought of Akira as he pretended his serious confession.  
　　  
　　“Nagachika-san, I like you! Please go out with me.”  
　　  
　　The doe eyes became large and stunned, as if trapped in the intersection as the lights unexpectedly changed, with oncoming traffic rushing heedlessly towards him.  
　　  
　　“I d... I don’t-I don’t understand... Are you jok--”  
　　  
　　 _Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I just want you to live._  
　　  
　　He smacked their foreheads together and crushed Nagachika to his lips.  
　　  
　　A deer caught in headlights.  
　　  
　　The boy floundered, jerking under him, pushing his free hand against his chest, but in the end was too weak to pry him away. Seidou might not have been hulking but he was built to take on monsters. Without full strength, to somebody fit only through cycling and younger by several years, Seidou was still formidable. He crushed the satisfied part of him that reveled briefly in such power. He burned with guilt and fever, eyes open and absorbing the fear before him.  
　　  
　　Desperately, he flicked his gaze over his shoulder twice. _This isn’t me, it’s them, please understand. Its them, they’re Ghouls, they’re monsters, and they will eat you in ways far worse than I can._ Nagachika followed the motion, loosening under Seidou’s grip as the man made a show of devouring his mouth. He tasted soft, cold skin and the remnants of coffee. The kiss was sloppy, slippery as Seidou tore urgently at the other. Maybe it didn’t have to be so rough and repulsive, but he had to look desperate, right, and he was also feeling _desperate_ , so he really wasn’t being malicious, right?  
　　  
　　Right?  
　　  
　　Too long, the agony ended. He heard murmurs of disgust and vague interest behind him, from Niro and Ai respectively. He held a trembling Nagachika at the elbows, willing the boy to comprehend exactly what he had meant by his molestation as he pulled back and looked down at him.  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san, you’re going to give me your cold...,” He did not raise his head. Nagachika found more value in his feet, apparently. Which was fine, because right now Seidou felt particularly despicable. “And that was... Surprising...” Nagachika’s voice came clear, cheerfulness soured with something undefinable. Resentment? Anger?  
　　  
　　Surely some form of distaste and not what seemed to be the destitution of longing, not what Seidou was imagining to be there.  
　　  
　　“Nagachika-kun.”  
　　  
　　Nagachika drew out from Seidou’s hold with a fleeting fake smile. So quickly that Seidou almost did not catch the red beginning to rim his eyes.  
　　  
　　As if he were holding himself back from crying.  
　　  
　　As if Seidou’s actions were more worthy of tears than violence.  
　　  
　　Which was a unquestionably worse reaction.  
　　  
　　“Uh, hey guys, you know what, I don’t think I’ll be joining you after all,” Nagachika scratched at his cheek. “I gotta’... I gotta’ deal with this first. I’m staying with Takizawa-san.”  
　　  
　　He remained close to Seidou, barely two feet of distance that made the Investigator needlessly anxious. He turned slightly and willed himself not to reach out and draw the boy back. The show had been conspicuous and audible to the trio clustered paces away, and they reluctantly seemed to be backing up, abandoning their meal.  
　　  
　　“You know what, no big deal, some other time, Nagachika-kun,” Ai returned, aware that her male companions were hastily leaving, the darkness of the alley end swallowing them up. She stumbled as she walked backwards, as if transfixed by the blond and brunet. She paused as she regained her footing. “It’s just... The boys, they had no idea you were... And you know how men sometimes are... They’ll come around, I’m sure...”  
　　  
　　“It’s fine, Ai-chan, don’t worry about it. Don’t get left behind now!”  
　　  
　　With a strained sneer as her response, Ai whirled and disappeared after them.  
　　  
　　Then they were alone.  
　　  
　　With unjustifiable means the end result had paid off.  
　　  
　　“Nagachika-san...”  
　　  
　　“Normally, boyfriends aren’t so formal with each other... Takizawa-san.” Resentment had sunk from Nagachika’s face like water into scorched sand. His lips curled happily as he looked over his shoulder.  
　　  
　　“One would think that may have been a farce, a tragedy of Takizawa-san practicing his confession of unrequited love to somebody second best.”  
　　  
　　Second best.  
　　  
　　Unrequited.  
　　  
　　A tragedy.  
　　  
　　The summation of Seidou, whose envy was so encompassing he could only bear to see from the side.  
　　  
　　To never know it.  
　　  
　　What he wanted.  
　　  
　　What he desired.  
　　  
　　To stop being an afterthought.  
　　  
　　To own first place.  
　　  
　　He had given Nagachika his place as a substitute?  
　　  
　　Was this irony?  
　　  
　　He stood jarred, and doubled over as a coughing fit seized him moments later.  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san!”  
　　  
　　“I’m f-fine. But more importantly, Nagachika-san,” Seidou cleared the husk of his blocked throat into his fist, then thumped it lightly on the blond’s head, arched over him with concern. “You need to be more careful. Didn’t you realize what those guys were?”  
　　  
　　Nagachika titled his head blankly. “Does Takizawa-san also think badly of scholarship students...?”

　　“What, those guys were _students_?!”  
　　  
　　“Yeah, at Kamii. We met in one of my new classes...”  
　　  
　　“Well that explains something at least.” Seidou straightened, putting on a stern expression. “It’s not that they’re scholarship students, and sort of not any of my business, but you need to be more picky when it comes to friends.

　　“Certain ones can get you killed, you know. Especially if they’re Ghouls.”  
　　  
　　A more perceptive Seidou might’ve noticed the way Nagachika tensed at this comment.  
　　  
　　“G-Ghouls?”  
　　  
　　“Yes, and you were about to be their dinner. What kind of Investigation Assistant gets himself caught up with three unmistakable Ghouls?”  
　　  
　　“I had no idea, honestly. They were just really friendly so I thought I’d try and make nice. Ah! So that’s what that was. You were trying to warn me and scare them off.”  
　　  
　　“Exactly.” Seidou stretched his back awkwardly, unable to meet Nagachika’s eyes as he said, “So... You don’t think anything else about that, right...?”  
　　  
　　“...Yeah, um actually, that was a sucky kiss.”  
　　  
　　“Sucky?!”  
　　  
　　“Yeah, no offense Takizawa-san, but you slobber like a dog... And kind of bite like one too, now that I think about it.”  
　　  
　　“A d-dog?!”  
　　  
　　“That was my first kiss too. How awful.”  
　　  
　　“F-first? Damn, I-I didn’t mean--”  
　　  
　　The blond chuckled heartily. “Don’t worry, I get it. You saved my life. But Takizawa-san, why didn’t you just lie and say my sister was in the hospital or something?”  
　　  
　　Oh.  
　　  
　　How simple.  
　　  
　　How glaringly obvious.  
　　  
　　How unobtrusive a solution.  
　　  
　　“F-fuck...,” Seidou whimpered, and Nagachika rushed to support him as he swayed.  
　　  
　　“Whoa!”  
　　  
　　“Fucking _shit_ , I... I’m sorry Nagachika-san, I didn’t.... It wasn’t my intent....”  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san, don’t worry about it. Just, c’mon, I’m gonna’ take you somewhere we can sit down and get some food in you. You’re so white you look like a _Geisha_ , but like, a really bad one.”  
　　  
　　  
　　  
　　  
　　The restaurant Nagachika brought him to was near empty and low lit. The young boy eagerly slurped from his bowl of _kenchinjiru_ , dribbling the stew onto his rice with lip smacking approval. Seidou raised his own spoon with effort. Even the flavourful vegetables were stunted with his heavy tongue. He grimaced as he realized he had forced the very same tongue into Nagachika’s mouth not much earlier and now the very minor Japanese boy was treating him to supper, and he swiftly punished the muscle with the steaming liquid, drinking heavily and suddenly from the large bowl, spoon discarded. The vengeance caused his eyes to water and skin to redden.  
　　  
　　“Oh no, Takizawa-san, you shouldn’t do that it’s super hot!” Nagachika snagged the bowl as Seidou gasped, mouth burning and numb.  
　　  
　　A minute later Seidou was sucking dejectedly on ice cubes as Nagachika sighed and polished off his third serving. If Seidou didn’t know any better, he’d say the boy was pouting and as a result, stress eating. He glared sullenly across the table, puffing his cheeks. He sort of resented Nagachika’s ability to come up with such an obvious escape route earlier, even though Nagachika had clearly suffered due to his stupidity and wasn’t responsible for his poor judgment.  
　　  
　　Not that he expected to be heralded as some sort of superhero saviour...  
　　  
　　Not that he’d acted to receive adoring gratitude...  
　　  
　　Not that Nagachika hadn’t already thanked him and put up with his sulking the entire trip here and even now...  
　　  
　　 _Would Akira have been able to reason through that better?_  
　　  
　　Was what he thought.  
　　  
　　 _How come I couldn’t think like her? If even Nagachika could reason through it... What the hell am I even doing here?_  
　　  
　　She wouldn’t have needed to run away.  
　　  
　　She would’ve slaughtered them.  
　　  
　　That was the gap between him and a perfect one hundred.  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san you really helped me out back there, even though you were sick. You were amazing, really. I know I thanked you before, but... Honestly, I don’t think anyone would’ve done what you did.”  
　　  
　　 _That’s putting it mildly_. His line of thinking must have been apparent to the other.  
　　  
　　“It’s not a bad thing! I mean, who’s to say I wouldn’t have responded with _‘I don’t have a sister’_ , huh? I mean, I’m fairly obtuse... That’s probably something that would’ve slipped out. So you probably knew me well enough to circumvent that option altogether.”  
　　  
　　“Is that what you think...?”  
　　  
　　“Of course! You have to have incredible powers of deduction for that kind of reasoning, Takizawa-san. You’re a regular Sherlock! You’re so cool!”  
　　  
　　“I guess so,” Seidou couldn’t help but puff his chest a little, pull his shoulders back with pride. He had tried, hadn’t he, to subtly weasel Nagachika away in the beginning, but he’d realized subtly wasn’t really the blond’s thing. Naturally, even if it had been so alarming, what he’d done...  
　　  
　　... Had been the best choice.  
　　  
　　“Thank you, Nagachika-san,” He said sincerely, smiling bashfully. “I’m just glad that you’re safe now. And I’m sorry that I stole your first kiss. If it helps, first kisses are wholly unremarkable, usually. I can’t even recall what the first girl I kissed looked like, let alone her name.”  
　　  
　　“Eh, you mean that wasn’t your first too?!” Nagachika was startled, dropping his utensil as he started on fourths. This baffled the Investigator.  
　　  
　　“What? Why would it be my first?!”  
　　  
　　“I just thought _‘Takizawa-san is so naive, he must be a virgin’_!”  
　　  
　　“Naive? That’s insulting! And I’m not sure you fully understand what it means to be a virgin!”  
　　  
　　“So you’re not a virgin?”  
　　  
　　“I didn’t say that!”  
　　  
　　“So you _are_ a virgin.”  
　　  
　　“I didn’t say that either! Stop misinterpreting everything, you dandelion brain!” At this point Seidou had risen from his crossed legs, pointing an accusatory finger at the blond, who he realized belatedly was laughing.  
　　  
　　“Takizawa-san, you’re so serious, you look like _Apollo Justice_ ,” He held his busting sides, landing on his back with a _flop_. “’ _Objection! My virginity status is classified, your honour.’ ‘Objection, no your honour I did not call him names.’‘Objection, the man before you is actually a flower alien disguised as a human.’_ Ha ha!”  
　　  
　　“W-What...,” Naturally, any normal person would be confused following Nagachika’s insane tangent. Certainly, if it had been legal and nondiscriminatory, the Japanese waiters would’ve hung a sign refusing to serve customers prone to madness, and the pair would’ve been ushered from the restaurant at this display post haste. As it was, joviality was not necessarily madness, it was extremely rude to deny customers based on mental standing, and despite the delicious food, there were very few customers that frequented such an out of the way dining shop. Seidou timidly turned to shut the curtains surrounding their booth a little more fully and sat down self consciously. “Nagachika-san, I’m not sure what just happened...”  
　　  
　　“I’m sorry, Takizawa-san, I got a little carried away. I thought I’d try and cheer you up.” Nagachika grinned lazily, recovered and digging into his meal with renewed gusto. “Even though you saved my life, you keep looking so dejected. Like the opposing male lead in some romance novel, the guy in the love triangle that gets left out.” He scratched the back of his head, sheepish. “Uh,... You weren’t actually hoping for me to return the gesture, were you?”  
　　  
　　“Of course not!”  
　　  
　　“Don’t sound so horrified, you could’ve ended up falling in love with me! You’re super lucky that you managed to resist for this long.”  
　　  
　　“Somehow I think that it would require an exorbitant amount of patience to handle somebody like you, Nagachika-san.”  
　　  
　　“Is that why you called me ‘dandelion head’?”  
　　  
　　“Sorry about that. But moreover, were you really telling the truth in the end? Was that truly your first kiss after all?”  
　　  
　　At this the boy was silent. He scrapped about his plate, moving around a mush of rice and soup. “Not that it’s really important, or to make you feel bad, but, yes, it was.” Now it was Seidou’s turn to be quiet. The blond looked wistful, longing. “I mean, it isn’t like I never had the chance to. Like I said, it wasn’t really all that significant in the end. I was, it’s only that I was saving it for someone...special, y’know? I mean, it was really stupid of me, but I was kinda’ hoping I could give it to my most important person or something like that. That it could be like in the fairy tales and bring them back to life, restore them to the way they used to be or whatever. Pathetically romantic and dumb, huh?”  
　　  
　　“It seems like you had someone in mind,” Seidou remarked softly, croaking with shame and sickness.  
　　  
　　Nagachika laughed without humour. “Yeah, you ever have one of those? Somebody you keep hoping will return your feelings, but instead they keep running away? I guess my fantasy was simply a childish method of coping.” He was too young to look so sorrowful then. As if he’d been robbed of something immensely precious. A wilted flower with no petals. Seidou could relate exactly.  
　　  
　　Somebody you constantly pursued in a dream of one day being recognized and accepted.

　　Somebody who made you happy but in the same instant could not give you happiness.  
　　  
　　Somebody who didn’t have what you didn’t want and had what you wanted to have.

　　Somebody perfect and irreplaceable.  
　　  
　　And in your mind, number one.  
　　  
　　First place.  
　　  
　　“I think I can accept that kind of reasoning, Nagachika-san.”

　　He thought of Akira, the queen of a frozen tempest. Remarkable in every way that he was not and never impressed with his measure. It was not love, surely, but there was a pining, unquenchable and gloriously wanton.  
　　  
　　What it felt like to be one step behind that which you coveted.  
　　  
　　To cower out of sight.

　　“I think I know exactly what you mean.”  
　　  
  
  
  
　　They left the restaurant with Seidou insisting on footing the bill. He was the adult still, even if it wasn’t by much, plus the kid was in school. Unsurprisingly he was exhausted, but insistent that he escort Nagachika home, carrying Styrofoam leftovers with aggressive determination as he marched the boy through the streets.  
　　  
　　“Scarily, you seem like you really are my boyfriend when you behave like this. Now we just need a fight scene with a bunch of gangsters who are secretly gay and wanting to bang me, and you’ll hold them off but succumb to injuries, and I’ll nurse you back to health in my apartment, and then--”  
　　  
　　“Nagachika-san, exactly what kind of _manga_ did you say you read?” He asked gruffly and beyond the point of collapsing. They would have to rename ‘ _sleeping like a baby’_ to _‘sleeping like a Seidou’_ once he got home to his bed. Damn appearances, he wasn’t going to bother with work tomorrow after this. He’d have to spend tomorrow recovering and going over the best way to present Akira with her gift.  
　　  
　　“ _Shounen_ , why?”  
　　  
　　“No reason, but are you sure there isn’t anything extra you’d like to add to the term _shounen_?”  
　　  
　　“I’m pretty sure?”  
　　  
　　“Alright.”  
　　  
　　He deposited Nagachika rather efficiently to his doorstep. Next he really did succumb to his illness, hacking in the hallway and being tugged inside unwillingly. The apartment was a lot tidier than his own and Nagachika bustled about energetically making tea or coffee or maybe both, Seidou didn’t know, he’d spotted the empty comfy couch and launched himself into dreamworld. When he woke again, it was under the warmth of a fleece blanket, and the boy was staring down at him with an adoring familiarity.  
　　  
　　Yet his gaze passed right through him.  
　　  
　　“You look comfortable.”  
　　  
　　He now took in the white walls, the large TV set in the panels of chestnut and glass, the rhombus etched shapes of the closet cabinets, the wraith-like plants. Under the couch there was a deep orange rug over the hardwood floor, and on the walls splashes of metal and modern art. It was so remarkably un-Nagachika-like he could not help the questioning gaze.  
　　  
　　“Oh, the design? Yeah, not my first choice but my brother has this raging affinity for modernism and industrialism so he picked it all out. Otherwise I’m pretty sure he’d never come over.”  
　　  
　　He processed this distantly. He was not familiar with Nagachika enough to be surprised by this additional sibling, although another individual might have been shocked by this revelation. Seidou merely thought this brother was a control freak and left it at that. He said, “Are you going somewhere?” For Nagachika was wearing a coat, matte black and buttoned.  
　　  
　　“Yeah, I’m going to grab you some lemon and ginger for tea. I finished the last of it by myself when you were sleeping. Sorry, but you did kiss me, and I don’t want to get sick.”  
　　  
　　Outside was dark, probably cold with how thick a coat he’d chosen. “I can come with you,” he tried, sitting up, but Nagachika shook his head.  
　　  
　　“No way, it’s raining outside. I’m doing this to make you feel better, I don’t wanna’ kill you.” He placed a bucket and glass of water smoothly by the man’s head on the floor and Seidou collapsed back down with a moan. Sympathy lined Nagachika’s features. “You should rest, you’ve had a long day. I might be a while.”  
　　  
　　And like that, without sound.  
　　  
　　And like that, Nagachika was gone, and Seidou curled in on himself. He had a million questions he realized moments later, like where the bathroom was and whether there was any acetaminophen around, or why it would take so gosh darn long to run to the store.  
　　  
　　Instead he wriggled to the floor in a parody of his routine that morning and stumbled around, wondering which of the two halls would lead to the toilet. As he moved a flash caught his eye. He pulled the blanket closer and shifted back and forth until once again an object caught the light. There, on the bottom shelf of the weird contemporary side table. The glint of glass. With interest, he saw there were several picture frames. Odd, because tucked under there they were surreptitious. Mysteriously out of sight. He ducked low and rather nosily pulled one out.  
　　  
　　He almost didn’t recognize Nagachika. The boy was very, very young in the shot, and his hair was a brown so deep it was almost black. Next to him stood another boy, nearly twice his age, with hair and eyes of coal. He didn’t seem familiar but it was probably, judging by the formal attire and stiff smiles, a family portrait and the other was the unnamed brother. There wasn’t much resemblance except for the slanting eyes. Maybe half brothers, who knew. Nagachika hadn’t claimed the brother as a twin, after all.  
　　  
　　The next picture was a pencil rendering of an old, old man, small enough to be tucked into any suit pocket. It was detailed but the grandfather was nondescript. He placed it aside and drew out the last and furthest frame. He inhaled sharply.  
　　  
　　This Nagachika he was accustomed to, with the unruly dark yellow hair and brown eyes. He teased him about being a dandelion, but the youth was really a sunflower scalp with the outgrowth of his natural colour. It was an image of years ago, with an arm looped around the shoulders of another kid, hair black and irises a foreign grey. This child leaned into Nagachika, returning the side embrace. The photo was clumsy, slightly blurry, but Seidou could see the stiff lines crinkling their suits, the corsage of white lilies in their breast pocket. In each hand fluttered an official sheet.

　　The graduation picture of Nagachika Hideyoshi and the tragedy Kaneki Ken.  
　　  
　　Together, cradled against the world, innocently posed, a human and the monster _‘Eyepatch’_.  
　　  
　　  
　　  
　　  
　　  
　　Hide smiled at the rain, basking in the wet as it flowed over his hood, soaked his pants and pooled in his shoes. The rain was a good sign. It would mask his scent. He pulled a device from his pocket, reading the screen, relieved to see the telltale red blip. He’d been worried the tracker hadn’t stuck when Jurou had jostled him, and even more worried when Seidou had shown up. He’d thought the Investigator had caught on to him somehow, but instead the man had merely spoiled his plans. Which was just as well, considering the present situation worked better for him.  
　　  
　　He hummed to himself as he skipped down the street, stalking the night. He would have to remember to pick up the ingredients later to keep the Investigator off his trail. He felt sorry for Takizawa and the needless effort he’d invested into making sure Hide was alright.  
　　  
　　He’d been certain he’d heard it right that day. In the lecture hall when Jurou had whispered to Niro, _‘Guess who ran into **“Eyepatch”** ’_ and Niro had hastily shushed him.  
　　  
　　Hide had dutifully plopped himself in the vacant seat to their right chirping, _“Man, this class is such a_ drag.”  
　　  
　　And their hungry eyes failed to recognize the predator prowling, crouched idly beside them. _“Name’s Nagachika Hideyoshi, but everyone just calls me ‘Hide’. You guys are new. Who are you?”_

**Author's Note:**

> I think Hide is such a good friend, and he was definitely doing things on the side trying to track down Kaneki. And he was also super cute whenever he was with Seidou, trying to boost his ego. I mean, considering how some pairings are immensely popular because two characters were just in the same scene together(like Hinami and Ayato???), people should definitely start shipping these two. I'm super pumped about the latest release for Tokyo Ghoul:re. No spoilers cause it just came out though!


End file.
